Category: Uncategorized

Dive: Find a Way

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I’m a diver. I go deep. Let me stop and clarify that I’m a philosophical diver. I dream and dive into things quickly. I take no lessons, I often enter skilless or void of experience, and I tend to go with an “I’ll see how it goes” mentality. I imagine experts and gurus are shaking their heads. This approach doesn’t work for a lot of people. When people enter into places or positions without plans steam is lost, energy wasted, and disappointment frequent. But this works for me. It’s taken me years to realize that I’m most invigorated, productive, and pleasant when I’m forcefully throwing myself into things.

I like the adrenaline rush and I love the reveal of potential. These gifts come to me in the midst of chaotic production. When you don’t know what you’re doing some say it’s fake it until you make it time. I prefer the phrase dive or drown. I can either dive deeper, think differently, learn more, and swim confidently, or I can drown in doubt, pity, and regret. Listen, everyone has a way that works for them. Correction, everyone should find a way that works for them. This is what works for me.

I’m of the opinion that these days the busyness of the world doesn’t allow for deeper dives. People don’t make time to go beyond the surface. However, for those who go the extra mile they create and cultivate a scenario that allows for introspection and investment, and prepare themselves for varying levels of decompression (google that scuba term). By jumping in there’s a chance to discover breathtaking and unchartered waters.

I’m a diver. I go deep.

 

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Things

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“Sometimes you need things rather than just thoughts.” ― Patrick Ness, The Rest of Us Just Live Here

One of my aunts recently retired. We spoke the other day about her newest endeavor in retirement, which is photography. She has long admired the art form and decided to pursue her passion in retirement. Her excitement is palpable.

I like when people get excited about things. Sometimes things become significant enough to change our attitude, direction, and/or purpose.

This thing I’m doing with Fishing for Fika is transitioning to becoming more for me than I imagined. While scary, it’s equally, if not more, exciting.

Currently, Marie Kondo is transforming the way we see things in our possession. I’m no Kondo, just Katie, but I’m trying to spark consideration about the things we do.

The answer to overthinking is often doing.

So, what’s your thing right now?

 

Decency

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“Friends who want to stay friends don’t discuss religion or politics.”

These days my Facebook feed is filled with political and religious advertisement and opinion. Twitter seems to be the same. The news, albeit traditional or online, is a running commentary of chaos. Hollywood continues to replicate our realities in its respective mediums while the media’s inevitable influence extends to all areas of our consumerism.

There’s no escape from political and religious jargon and discourse. It’s never-ending.

The problem with politics and religion isn’t discourse, but rather decency.

Fika, as an institution and an integral part of this project, is about connection. It’s a purposeful investment in others, which in turn becomes self-serving for character development and fulfillment. It’s the missing piece.

This is no longer an “us and them” argument. It extends far beyond the reach of parties or varying faiths and texts.

In openness and vulnerability, the opposing viewpoints are garnering a response to refute. It’s become the norm for immediate dismissal of opposition, a quick cast of judgment, and instant citation of evidence or doctrine.

But what about decency?

I don’t pretend to be an expert in politics or religion. I’m more novice than I care to admit. I am, however, willing to engage. I have only one request. Be decent.

 

You’ve Got to be Kidding Me!

 

william-iven-19844-unsplash.jpgI went LIVE on Facebook tonight. I was a hot mess and I loved it. I live for authenticity so I wasn’t worried about the frizz hair, outrageous stain from my toddler’s  paint session, or the blatant and outrageous bags under my eyes. I OWN IT ALL. I’m not thrilled with the width of my cheeks on camera, but that’s why I’m hitting the gym. Anyways, it was so me, which was fast paced, a little of this, a little of that, and some news on what I’m working on. 11 minutes of me. Then the mystery happened, which was auto deletion. YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I tried. I really tried. You can’t recreate stuff like the mess and magic of LIVE, and yes, the latter is my interpretation. Let me digress and explain that anytime I live fearlessly and go for the gold I think it’s magic. Anyways, it’s gone. And while I’d love to live in a state of complaint, there’s work to do.

Here’s the deal… I started this fika thing because of this and now I’m here. Over the past year I’ve taken time to do two things that I love endlessly and unapologetically, talk and write. But I’ve been doing something else too, which is thinking bigger and beyond the blog. Writing is the most sacred and sensitive thing I do for myself. I’ve always wanted to make it more. I’m ready.

This year I’ve divided my fikas into themes. I’ve done so because I’m knee-deep in two pieces of writing that go beyond the blog and it’s apparent these themes stretch and surround so many of us. They are as follows: health, marriage, friendship, work, motherhood, beginnings and endings, just because, introductions, technology, say anything, failure, and joy. I’ll explain them more in depth as each approaches, but know this: I’m looking to talk.

These fikas fuel my writing, which in turn, becomes the something more I’ve been anticipating, dreaming, and now doing. Help me. Refer a friend, tell me about some stranger on Instagram who fascinates you for hours, give me your grandma who talks for hours and needs an eager ear, share the secret story you’ve always wanted to tell but never write. Let’s fika.

P.S. There’s more. I’m hoping to share soon. Until then, keep reading and dreaming. XO

Brontë at Burger King

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“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

Something happened this December that marked a major meltdown and milestone for me.

One day I promised my oldest daughter a milkshake. So after an afternoon of chaos I drove to Burger King to deliver the goods.

The line was long. Someone beeped, orders took forever to fill, and my youngest was in the backseat losing her cool. Fifteen minutes later I pulled up to the window to pay and collect. The order was wrong.

Let me rewind and explain that I had been tested all day. Do you ever have those unusually long days full of endless challenges? I had an adult tantrum. I rolled my eyes, gave an exaggerated sigh, and collapsed into the steering wheel. It was dramatic. And as I lifted my head I saw the young woman at the register staring at me. She painfully retreated to fix the order as I sat there unraveling.

It was awkward.

Driving away I knew she felt my behavior was a direct attack. I felt awful. It wasn’t even about the milkshake. The entire day had been a series of unfortunate events and I was exhausted. As I pulled into my driveway guilt consumed me.

I don’t treat people terribly and I don’t behave rudely either. I knew it was a mishap, for which I felt badly about, and I think a lot of people would chalk up the guilt as a reminder to be kinder, more patient, and rooted in gratitude. I let those three things sink in, but it still didn’t feel quite right.

My lessons benefited me, but what about the young woman? I needed to say sorry. I wrote a note, put a little something extra in an envelope, and drove back to Burger King.

On the way there I kept thinking of Charlotte Brontë and her classic Jane Eyre. See the quote above. Independent will often works in our favor. We do what we want when we want. But what about independent will when we’re wrong?

On a cold December night guilt wasn’t enough to school me. As I reintroduced myself, apologized for my behavior, and offered a token of peace, I felt like I had struck gold. Being wrong never felt so right. I recognized that independent will and the strength to recognize, rectify, and recover from mistakes is the ultimate marker of growth.

I drove away incredibly touched by her acceptance and inspired by the will to want to right more wrongs.

I don’t have a ton of baggage. In fact, I’m blessed to have less than most. But I do have some things to adjust or fix and I see the power of willingly walking into the uncomfortable for a more accurate and accountable polished product.

There’s an underlying lesson in it for me, which is acknowleding the undeniable surprises life provides. I never expected to relate Brontë to Burger King.

Here’s to indepedent will and living without nets.