Day 98

BEING REAL IS THE HARDEST THING TO DO WHEN EVERYBODY IS WATCHING YOU ― P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

I went with the black and white filter because I was feeling all sorts of shades of gray, but this is the first vlogish thing I’ve done. I had all these plans on how I wanted this to happen, on what I was searching for or setting out to do, but then a case of the blahs hit me, which forced me to somewhat surrender and settle for “an unshowered end of day confessional about my anxiety and exhaustion.” It’s not flattering, nor is the conversation focused, but it’s me at the end of a trying week keeping it real. Guess what? It’s enough! If there’s one thing I’ve learned to be comfortable with it’s realness in any and all forms. I’m convinced this is how empowerment happens.

Today we took our girls on a highly anticipated picnic in a local park. They begged for it, but initially my husband and I didn’t share the same enthusiasm for the outing. For whatever reason we were slow to savor the suggestion. Nonetheless he packed us up and made their wishes come true, which served as a reminder about how I or anyone can sometimes emerge from the blahs better. Everything can change in an instant.

It took a minute, but as I watched my girls run freely with their father, the crisp fall wind running through their wild hair, I found that piece of peace we sometimes forget to celebrate and cherish. They’re of the age where this small thing was a big deal. They put pennies in their pockets to make wishes at the fountain and chased one another until they collapsed into a fit of giggles. It was nothing and everything, which is the sweet spot of life’s best moments. I looked up to the sky, said a little prayer of gratitude, and asked for the extra push to keep moving forward despite being tired or tested. Almost immediately I felt the “you’ve got this” affirmation I needed.

Forty file lessons might not be monumental or glamorous, but they’re meaningful and genuine. Happy Sunday, friends. You’ve got this!