Balance

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“Somehow, we’ll find it. The balance between whom we wish to be and whom we need to be. But for now, we simply have to be satisfied with who we are.” ― Brandon Sanderson, The Hero of Ages

I’m making big decisions this summer and the word balance keeps coming into play.  Subsequently, a sub-discussion of need and want comes to the surface whenever balance is in motion.

As Sanderson says, the future is a constant chase of whom we wish to be and whom we need to be. I spend a lot of time envisioning the future. I think many of us do because we’re programmed to plan from an early age. At 37, I’m still aspiring to become and do many of the things I dreamed of years ago.

But what about now?

What are we seeking and sharing in the present moment? Self-love gets a lot of play these days, but what about self-awareness? Are we able and willing to surrender and stay present for awhile? Are we self-aware enough to recognize and relish what we’ve done rather than lust for more or plan for better?

These days I am a ball of anxiety as I shift through stages of decision making. But in becoming obsessed with tomorrow it’s imperative to recoil somewhat and sit in the present hour.

Instead of creating benchmarks and living in a state of anticipatory angst, I’m pledging to be present. To be satisfied, despite developments, distractions, or decisions, with exactly where I am and who I am in this moment. Perhaps the challenge isn’t balance but gratitude.

Fika on, friends.