Serious Stuff
by kzurich

I Paid 29.99 For This: Beach Body

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We joined the municipal pool this summer. It’s an easy walk from our house and the perfect place for my water babies to expend energy.

We spend the majority of our time in very shallow water. My go-to pool attire is a short sundress and floppy hat. Most of the time I don’t have to derobe since the water isn’t deep.

I am thankful for these days of wading pools and watching my tiny tadpoles. They are simple, saturated with love, and full of laughter.  But I’m also acutely aware of something else this swimsuit season, which is that like many, I need to further foster my physical confidence.

I’m going to the gym consistently. This in itself is a celebration. I’m being more mindful of what I eat. Again, another step in the right direction. But while I’m working on myself and trying my best to focus on effort and habits, it feels counterproductive to let shame or doubt intercept me as I don my cute but a few sizes bigger than I’d like Target bathing suit.

The debate on the body-positive movement stirs up something visceral within me. Let me be clear, I need to lose weight. Let me be clearer that I’m working on it. But I also don’t want to diminish my in-progress status and wait for results in order to go places or do things, especially related to the pool or beach.

When we own that we need to work on something and share it publicly, we become more real to others and to ourselves. This is part of my self-love experience and it’s become a central theme in my thought process and decision making. Maybe it’s also why we see so many posts on the self-love movement. People struggle to deny normal but nagging feelings of inadequacy or comparison, especially about body image.

I have two little girls. Their presence has emphasized the need to show ownership and pride over my body. And when I’m not proud I work harder.

I paid 29.99 for my Target swimsuit. You can bet that I’m going to wear and swim in the damn thing. For myself, for my girls, and for anyone in need of some self-love, this is how you get a beach body.